Vegetable Man
1968
Fairmont, WV
Jennings Frederick was bow hunting just outside of the city in the woods when he heard a strange sound—a high-pitched, screeching, jabbering noise that reminded him of a record player running faster than it was supposed to. Cautiously, he followed the cry, bringing into
view a sickly, weak-looking, pale green creature bobbing on the ground. The being was over seven ft tall, with a thin, stick-like, but semi-human-shaped body; on its oblong head was a pair of wide, leaf-ish ears, several spindly, fleshy whiskers, and two large, bulging eyes that flickered between red and yellow quickly. The long, reedy arms it held to its chest had three slender fingers each; on top, fleshy, upside-down cups sat tipped with needle-like thorns. A thick, gnarled base held the being up with legs that bowed from the trunk and toes that squiggled and looked like roots.
The creature turned and noticed the man scrutinizing him. Its jabbering increased and Jennings heard a loud voice, though he saw no mouth on the entity; the voice, to his horror, was in his head, “YOU NEED NOT FEAR ME. I WISH TO COMMUNICATE. I COME AS A FRIEND. WE KNOW OF YOU ALL. I COME IN PEACE. I WISH MEDICAL ASSISTANCE. I NEED YOUR HELP.” Instantly after the message, the creature jumped onto Jennings, wrapping him tightly in its viney arms with surprising strength. The thorns on the monster’s hands pierced his flesh, which hurt initially before fading into a slight, burning sensation; the being’s head stretched to look into its captive’s eyes, hypnotizing Jennings with their repetitive, color-changing hues. At this time, Jennings recalled feeling as if he were being drained of blood from the thorns.
After a minute or two, the creature unlatched, disappearing up the hill and into the forest with astounding 25+ ft leaps. Dazed, Jennings did not follow, but heard a humming sound in the distance; he believed it to be the beast’s UFO.
THE LIFE-SUCKING VINE
Extraterrestrial life-forms that resemble Earthly vegetation, Vegetable Men usually only stop at Earth along the way to somewhere else; their ships fall into the box or cigar craft category, looking like silver cylinders with short, spiky offshoots, antennas, and deep lines that could also function as door hatches or text. It is believed that they briefly enter and visit Earth for biological sustenance, emergency landings, or to refuel/recharge their UFOs.
To survive, the Vegetable Men drain liquids from other living organisms—usually from those that are not plant-like and are instead warm-bodied—through their long fingertips, or “suckers”; suction is generated by the body pumping (which can be seen by a swirling hole in the being’s chest that repeatedly opens and closes during feeding), drawing liquids from the host. Which nutrients are gained depends on what the Vegetable Man is feeding upon and where its suckers dig in. Liquids drawn from the host can be seen traversing up the creature's arm and around the body; the alien seems to hydrate itself through the process, thickening, and darkening in color. Though unsettling, those preyed upon by the creatures do not die, unless they are small, sickly, or have an organ punctured; the process of feeding is not entirely uncomfortable for prey, as the suckers release a numbing agent and its gaze hypnotizes, calms the individual. Several minutes afterward, the puncture wounds itch, burn, and produce a tingling sensation that lasts several days. Most of these wounds are located on the arm or leg.
Some of these entities, however, are thought to have made the planet their new home; this small group will be referred to as Green Briars. This species is thought to be entirely comprised of strong, yet pliable, biological material that absorbs nutrients, takes in carbon dioxide, and filters waste via a complex system of tubes and coils; they do not have skeletal systems or organs as most organisms do on Earth. The aliens’ bodies do have some extraordinary abilities that help them survive and thrive in Earth’s environment. For one, Green Briar’s ears help regulate temperature: when they are stretched open and outwards, heat is released, but while closed and folded over, heat is preserved. On especially hot days, the creature may release excess waste through two large, tear-drop shaped holes on its head, which cools its body temperature (similar to urohydrosis in aves); on especially cold days, the alien will sun itself in open regions. Located on the joints, reddish thorns may be used for defense—releasing a cloud of poisonous spores into the air. Green Briar’s large eyes do not blink and, in addition to enthralling nearby organisms, shines bright at night, allowing the creature to see at all times of the day. The alien’s large, stringy feet sprawl wide like tree roots, allowing it to navigate terrain with dexterity; the foot’s structure also lets the beast make far leaps and high jumps by pushing off the ground and gripping high terrain. Though these feet are useful in movement, their arms and hands are clumsy, lack range of motion, and are a hindrance when moving place to place due to their rigidity. On a Green Briar, rubbery “feelers” can be found on the head and body; these alert the creature to nearby organisms, twitching when a presence is sensed. Due to the creature’s body structure, it cannot walk or run but can only travel by jumping from place to place. Another disadvantage on Earth, Green Briar’s ears are very sensitive to sound, as well as intense heat, which may cause them to shrivel/wilt.
Green Briars communicate with one another through color displays, telepathy, and an alien language that sounds like high-pitched jabbering. Eyes and ears can alter their hue depending on the creature’s mood or intention; warmer colors revolve around feeding or negative emotion, cool colors are associated with positive feelings, and white is related to mating. As the creatures age, their bodies grow thicker, less flexible, and reddish bumps appear on the surface. These bumps bloom into red and/or pink flowers when the time is right for reproduction. Males pollinate females by releasing spores through thorns; after fertilization has occurred, they wither—eventually becoming feeble and incapable of activity. Females live longer, digging their feet deep into the ground and become almost motionless. Their root-feet absorb nutrients and water from the ground, though this food source is mostly allotted for the production and growth of seedlings. As the Green Briar goes through this last stage of development, it no longer needs to prey upon other organisms and resembles a tree—growing branches and leaves, which are similar in shape to the creature’s ears. At this time in development, arms cease grabbing those wandering by, reaching upwards instead and unfurling into several more branches and flowers. New buds form, taking on a yellow or orange hue; each female produces upwards of 30 of these flowers. After a few months pass, the blooms wither and reveal lightweight, bright red seeds with propeller-like tops. The seeds fall off of the tree on windy days, blowing far away from their mother. Once moist ground is reached, the living seed burrows into the ground; here it grows, absorbing nutrients that help build its limbs and other body parts. Once it reaches 1 ft in length, it pulls itself from the ground, and begins its life as a Green Briar or “Vegetable Man”.
This extraterrestrial creature prefers to reside in the wildest, most remote places in West Virginia — roaming lands far from human settlement and activity. Unlike most animals and plants, reproduction is not influenced by season, but solely age; a budding or seeding Green Briar may occur at any time. It is suspected that the group currently living on Earth may be growing in number for a future takeover; it is also speculated that they may be working in tandem with species in space, who may be planning a joint invasion. Other UFOlogists disagree, seeing the Green Briars as simple creatures looking for new places to live and die.